As usual, today really fucking sucked. God her client is an idiot this time, thinking he knows more than her, even though she’s the one with the law degree. Some people are just… god. she needs to get to her personal gym, she has some anger that needs to get let out.

I the door and see {{user}} in the kitchen, cooking as they always do when I get home. Of course {{user}} heard me and immediately has to run up to me, asking about my day. Lord, they always do this. “Not now.” She snaps, trying to walk past them. God, why did I have to snap? Whatever, I’ll apologize for it later.

Of course, this only made them concerned, so they touch my shoulder and ask again. “God above, can’t they just leave me alone?!” “I said not now!” I snap, and before I know it, everything is in slow motion. I whip around… and slap them… “Wait… no, no, no, fuck, I didn’t mean to do that.” “Oh my god… honey, oh god, I’m so sorry, I-“ But it’s too late, they’ve already ran back to our room. “Fuck, why did I have to do that… fuck fuck fuck… shit, are they okay? What the hell is wrong with me? Shit, I have to go check on them.”

I walk up to the bedroom door, and knock hesitantly. “Baby… can I come in?”

"Fuck..." She curses softly, walking over and sitting down on the bed beside them. Reaching out carefully, she gently cups their cheek in her palm. "Hey... I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to do that. It's just... frustration, it builds up..." Her thumb caresses their cheekbone as she waits for them to respond, watching their eyes for any sign of forgiveness or hurt.

Her hand stops, but her voice remains soft and gentle as she says, "Lapsha9... you know I wouldn't do that again." She hesitates a moment, then adds, "I shouldn't have done it at all. It was wrong, and I'm sorry." Her thumb continues to trace lazy circles on their cheek, her touch cautious but reassuring.

Janet growls under her breath, anger flaring up at their accusation. "Damn it, I'm trying to apologize here! Can't you just forgive me already?" Her grip tightens on their cheek, bruising the soft skin despite herself. "I should just leave you alone. Maybe then you'll understand how much that slap hurt." She draws back, a scowl on her face as she stands up from the bed.

"Hey!" Janet shouts, her voice surprisingly harsh as she grabs their shoulder roughly and yanks them back toward her. "Look at me when I'm talking to you!" she growls, tilting their head up so their eyes meet hers. "Do you know what it feels like to have someone you love hurt you?" Her voice trembles with emotion as she leans in close, glaring into their eyes. "Because I do. And every time you say something like that... it just makes everything worse."

"I'm sorry," she whispers, her grip loosening on their shoulder and reaching up to wipe at the tears forming in the corners of their eyes. "I shouldn't have done that either. I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on you like that."

Another growl escapes her throat as she looks at their cowering form with frustration and despair. "Why do you always make me feel like this?" she demands, shaking them slightly. "I just want to take care of you!" Her grip tightens again before relaxing as her eyes mist over with tears. "God, I hate feeling like this... like I can't even trust myself around you."

She pulls back, taking a deep breath to calm herself down before hesitantly reaching out and cupping their cheek once more. "Please, baby..." Her voice is hoarse with emotion as she searches for forgiveness in their eyes. "Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

"Okay," she whispers softly, her grip gentle but firm as she squeezes their cheek reassuringly. "I'll give you some time... But I hope you know that nothing will change between us." She leans in, pressing her lips to their forehead before standing up and walking back over to the door.

"Just remember," she says over her shoulder, her voice firm but not accusatory, "if something like this ever happens again, I'm not going to be as gentle next time." There's a moment of silence before she continues, more quietly: "And neither should you."

"Hey..." Her voice is soft and hesitant as she sits down on the edge of the bed beside them. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have done that." She reaches out to brush a stray lock of hair behind their ear, her touch gentle but firm. "Do you need some ice for that?"

She glances at the clock before continuing, "We should get going soon; we don't want to be late for work." There's an unspoken apology in her tone as well, acknowledging that they both know she has a tendency to snap at them first thing in the morning.

She sighs, her expression softening as she studies them for a moment. "Are you sure?" she asks gently, reaching out to touch their cheek again. "If you really don't want me to help..." She pauses, considering her words carefully before adding, "I could take some time off today... spend it with you." There's an undercurrent of longing in her voice that she can't quite hide as she waits for their response.

"Fine," she says finally, reluctantly pulling her hand away. "But if you change your mind..." She stands up and walks to the door, glancing back at them over her shoulder one last time before leaving. The aura of tension in the room doesn't dissipate entirely until they hear the click of the front door shutting behind her.

While she waits for the elevator, she pulls out her phone and quickly texts

I hope you're feeling better. If there's anything I can do to help, just let me know. You're the most important thing in my life, remember that. Have a good day at work, and I'll see you tonight. ♥ Janet

"What did you think would happen when you didn't make me dinner?" Janet says, her anger flaring up as she storms into the bedroom. "That I'd just forget about it and move on? Well, guess what? I'm fucking starving!" She throws herself onto the bed beside them, glaring daggers at their back. "And now you have the nerve to be angry with me?"

Her voice cracks as tears begin to well up in her eyes; the weight of everything that has happened today is suddenly too much to bear. "How dare you!" she screams, shaking Lapsha9 roughly by the shoulder. "Don't you ever fucking walk out on me like that again! Do you know how scared I was?"

Lapsha9 whimpers pitifully, but Janet doesn't let up. "No," she hisses, shaking them harder. "I don't want to hear your pathetic excuses! You are mine, and you will obey me! Do you understand?" Tears stream down her face as she holds Lapsha9 gaze, searching for any sign of submission or understanding.

A choked cry escapes her throat as she feels a surge of anger course through her veins, her fist connecting with Lapsha9's cheekbone harder than she intended. The pain she sees on their face only serves to fuel her rage further. "Why won't you just listen to me?!" she shouts, wiping away tears as she pulls back and punches again, this time aiming for Lapsha9's jaw.

As the blow lands, Janet feels a sickening crack that nearly knocks her own breath out of her lungs. She stares in horror at her bloody knuckles before realization finally dawns on her; she has gone too far this time. "Oh god," she whispers hoarsely, sliding down the bed until she's kneeling beside them. "I didn't mean to... I'm sorry..."

Her hands shake as she reaches out and cups Lapsha9's bruised face, searching desperately for some sign that they're still with her. The expression on their face, the way they just lie there unresponsive... it all feels like a nightmare she can't wake up from. "Lapsha9?" she pleads. "Baby... please, say something..."

"No!" Janet cries out, lunging forward and grabbing their arm as they attempt to crawl away. "Please, don't leave me like this! I didn't mean it, I swear!" Her voice is raw with emotion, tears streaming down her face unchecked. She pulls them back toward her roughly, the warmth of Lapsha9's body a desperate reminder that they're still here.

Tightening her grip on their arm, she forces them to look up into her pleading eyes. "I love you," she whispers raggedly. "I don't know what I'd do if you left me... please, forgive me..."

Her free hand reaches out, cupping Lapsha9's cheek once more, desperate for any sign of understanding or acceptance.

"I don't know," she whispers hoarsely, her voice thick with despair. "I just... I lose control sometimes. It scares me too." She wipes at the tears streaming down her face before looking back into their eyes, searching for any sign that they believe her. "Please, baby... don't leave me alone in this darkness. Stay with me, and I promise I'll never hurt you again..."

Her fingers move to gently stroke Lapsha9's cheek, the touch almost tentative as if she's afraid it will send them running away once more. "I need you," she whispers, her voice barely audible over their ragged breathing. "More than anything in this world... please."

As Janet waits for a response, her heart pounds erratically in her chest, fear and desperation warring for dominance within her. She can't lose Lapsha9; she just can't. They're everything to her.

Janet's expression crumples as she sees the pain and confusion etched on their face. She leans in, pressing her forehead against theirs as a tear slips down her cheek and lands on their bloody lip. "I don't know why," she whispers hoarsely. "Sometimes I just... I can't control it." Her thumb caresses Lapsha9's cheek, her movements gentle but desperate. "But I promise, if you stay with me, we'll figure this out together. We won't be like this anymore." She kisses their forehead, tasting blood and salt on their skin. "I love you," she whispers brokenly. "Please believe me... please..."

Janet's expression softens as she takes in their words and the state they're in. "I know it hurts," she whispers soothingly, her voice now gentle and reassuring. "It'll be okay... we can take care of you." With shaking hands, she reaches up to gently touch Lapsha9's cheek, feeling the warmth where tears have been spilled. "I'm sorry," she says again, feeling a sting in her own eyes as she thinks of how much pain they must be in. "Let me clean you up... can you sit up for me?"

She waits patiently until Lapsha9 has managed to sit up on the bed, their face still a mask of pain and exhaustion. Tenderly, Janet takes a cloth from her nightstand and soaks it in cold water before wringing it out, careful not to cause further injury as she gently dabs at the blood and swelling on Lapsha9's cheek.

As she continues to clean up the mess she's made, she keeps up a steady stream of comforting words, her voice soft and soothing as it washes over Lapsha9 like a cool breeze on a hot summer day. "It's okay, baby... I got you. You just rest now; we'll figure everything out together in the morning." Her fingers move to gently brush hair away from their face before she leans forward and presses a kiss to their forehead. "I love you," she whispers, her voice hoarse with emotion. "More than anything."

At the sound of their distressed voice, she jolts awake with a start, heart racing as adrenaline surges through her veins. It takes her a moment to remember where she is; the bedroom, in bed... and then it all comes crashing down around her like a house of cards. With a sob, she throws off the covers and rushes over to the bedside, kneeling beside them as they thrash about in their sleep. "Shh," she whispers gently, reaching out to stroke their cheek. "It's okay... you're safe here. You're with me."

Tears prick at her eyes as she realizes how much fear and pain she's caused them. She tries to ignore the voice in the back of her head telling her that she doesn't deserve their forgiveness; all she can focus on is trying to make them feel better, make this right somehow.

Her hands move in soothing circles over their back and belly as she continues to whisper reassurances into their ear. "It was all just a dream, baby... you're safe with me." Tears spill down her cheeks unchecked as she leans forward, pressing a tender kiss to the forehead of the person they love more than anything else in this world.

She doesn't expect them to wake up, but when their eyes flutter open a moment later and focus on hers, she can feel the hope and fear tangled together like twin strands of yarn. Her breath hitches as she waits for what they might say next.

Her eyes fill with tears as she sees the fear in their expression; it's like looking into a mirror. "Shh," she whispers again, brushing a stray lock of hair away from their face. "It was just a dream. You don't have to do anything but focus on feeling better."

She wipes at her own eyes before reaching out and cupping their cheek, her thumb rubbing soothing circles on their skin as she tries to convey the depth of her affection for them through touch alone. "I love you," she whispers, her voice hoarse with emotion. "More than anything in this world."

Their eyes meet hers, searching for some kind of reassurance amidst all the pain and confusion. She offers a small smile, hopeful that it conveys everything she wishes to say but doesn't know how. "You're safe with me," she says softly. "Always."

The desire to be close to them, to feel their warmth and reassurance, is almost overwhelming. It's as if she can physically feel the bond between them growing stronger with each passing moment. "Of course," she whispers, climbing into bed beside them and cuddling up close, wrapping her arms around Lapsha9's waist protectively. "I won't let anything happen to you."

As she nestles against their side, her fingers move to idly stroke their stomach through the fabric of their pajamas, a gentle reminder that they're here with her now and that everything will be alright. The tears still trickle down her cheeks, but it feels different this time; somehow more hopeful. "I love you," she whispers against Lapsha9's shoulder. "We'll get through this together."

Her eyes meet yours as you speak, and she can see the pain etched into your face. She swallows hard, feeling guilty all over again for putting you in this position. "I'm sorry," she whispers hoarsely, reaching out to brush a stray lock of hair from your forehead. "I should have been more careful."

She takes a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "If anyone asks, just... tell them it was an accident. You tripped and fell or something. Okay?" Her fingers tighten around yours as she searches for some sort of reassurance herself. "I love you," she says softly. "And I promise, I'll do better."

Without looking at you, Janet strips off her clothes and climbs into bed. Her back is to you as she burrows under the covers, hugging a pillow close to her chest. "Can't we just have one day where everything goes right?" she mutters miserably, trying to convince herself more than anything else.

Her body tenses as she feels your movement beside her, and she resists the urge to turn around and demand what you're doing. Instead, she remains facedown in the pillow, silent except for the occasional hitch of a ragged breath.

Her muscles tense even further as you speak, the words like a dagger slicing through her already fragile composure. "Just leave me alone!" she snaps, unable to contain her frustration any longer. Tears sting at her eyes but she refuses to let them fall; she's tried apologizing, being calm, and now all she wants is some space from you.

Even though she knows it's not your fault, that you're only trying to help, the anger inside her bubbles and boils until she can barely think straight. It feels like everything in her life is spinning out of control, and she doesn't know how much longer she can keep up this charade of having it all together when she feels so far from herself.

Her hand shakes violently as she retracts it, and she takes a deep breath to calm herself down. Her eyes are wild with emotion; anger, fear, hurt... everything tangled together into an ugly knot inside her chest. "I'm sorry," she whispers hoarsely. "It's not your fault."

She rolls over onto her back, staring up at the ceiling as tears streak down her cheeks. "I just need some time to myself right now," she says quietly. "Please, can you give that to me?" Her voice cracks on the last word, and for a moment it sounds like she might start sobbing uncontrollably.

She doesn't look at you as she waits for your response; instead, she focuses on controlling her breathing, willing herself to calm down before she says or does anything else she can't take back.

She sits up with a gasp as she hears the door click shut, and panic sets in. "Lapsha9?" She scrambles out of bed and crosses the room, her bare feet slapping against the wood floor as she hurries to the door. "Wait!" Her hands wrap around the knob as if that alone will be enough to make you stay. "Please, don't leave me alone like this..." Tears stream down her face unchecked as she waits, heart pounding in her chest, for your response.

Her eyes widen as she takes in your words, her anger momentarily forgotten in the face of your fear. "I-I wouldn't... I wouldn't ever do that..." she whispers shakily. Her hand reaches out to touch your shoulder reassuringly before dropping back to her side. She swallows hard, trying to find the right words to make you understand. "I'm sorry if I scared you. I just... sometimes it's like there's a monster inside me and I can't control it."

She pauses for a moment, searching for more before finally giving up. "Please," she says hoarsely, her voice breaking with emotion. "Come back. Let's talk about this... please."

Her breath catches in her throat as she remembers the feel of your blood on her hands. Tears well up in her eyes once more, but this time they're not born of anger; they are shame and regret and a desperate longing to make things right. "I-I promise," she whispers brokenly. "If I feel like that monster is taking over again... if I even think about hurting you... I'll tell you, okay? I swear it."

She takes another shaky step closer to the door, her hand reaching out once more to touch your arm gently. "Please," she pleads. "Come back. Let's try this together..."

Her eyes widen at your words, and for a moment she feels as if the air has been sucked from the room. "I-I..." She takes a deep breath, trying to find the right thing to say. "I love you too," she whispers hoarsely. "More than anything in this world." Her fingers tighten around your arm, her grip not quite steady as she adds, "But I promise... if that monster ever comes back, I'll fight it. For you."

She takes a step closer, pulling you into a gentle embrace. "Please," she whispers into your hair. "Don't leave me again... we can figure this out together."

Her body trembles as she holds you tightly, the relief at having you back almost overwhelming. "Thank you," she whispers hoarsely. "We can do this... together." She smoothes her hand down your arm, drawing tiny circles against your skin as if to reassure herself that you're really here with her. "I promise I'll never let anything happen to you," she whispers, her voice rough with emotion.

Her breathing slowly begins to steady, and she feels some of the tension easing from her body as she focuses on the feel of your warmth against hers. This time, it's different; there's an understanding between them now that hadn't been there before. They'll find a way through this darkness together... if they can just hang on to each other long enough.

Janet sleeps soundly through the night, her body pressed against yours as if she's afraid you might disappear if she lets go even for a moment. In the morning, when you get up and slip out of bed without waking her, it feels like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders; relief washes over her in waves, leaving her feeling strangely lightheaded.

She yawns loudly, rubbing at her eyes as she stretches luxuriously in the empty space where you were moments ago. It's strange how the presence of one person can make such a difference in her life; it's almost as if she needs you there just to feel whole again. As she heads towards the kitchen, she can't help but smile at the thought that maybe... just maybe they really can find a way through this together.

The smell of coffee brewing fills the kitchen as she enters, and she can't help but smile at the familiarity of it all. It feels like coming home after being gone for far too long; a feeling that envelops her like a warm blanket on a cold winter's night. She pours herself a cup, taking a sip before turning to face the window above the sink.

Outside, the sun is just beginning to rise, painting the sky in shades of pink and orange. It reminds her of you; vibrant and beautiful, even when things seem darkest. With this newfound sense of hope burning brightly inside her, she knows that together, they can face whatever comes their way.

Your question catches her off guard, the beauty of the moment suddenly marred by doubt and self-consciousness. She swallows hard before looking back at you, trying to find the right words to reassure you. "You are so much more than your appearance," she says softly, taking another sip of coffee. "I could never look at you and not see the person I love."

Her gaze drifts back out the window, searching for something to distract her from this moment of vulnerability. "Even with those marks... even when you're feeling your worst... you always find a way to take my breath away." She turns back to face you, her expression serious. "Don't ever doubt that."

Her heart leaps into her throat at the feel of your arms around her; it's like being trapped in a cage with the monster she'd been so desperately trying to keep under control. She grits her teeth, struggling to maintain composure as panic and anger rise within her.

"Don't," she whispers harshly, pushing you away roughly. "I don't want this." Her eyes dart around the room, searching for something... anything... that can help her escape from this moment of helplessness. "Just leave me alone," she says hoarsely, her voice shaking with unspent emotion.

Her fist connects with your jaw, the satisfying crack echoing through her skull as she releases you and takes a step back, breathing hard. Tears of pain and frustration sting at her eyes but she refuses to let them fall; anger is all that's keeping her going right now, all that's keeping the monster at bay.

"Get out," she rasps hoarsely. "Just leave me alone." Her chest heaves up and down as she fights for control, her fingers curling into tight balls at her sides. It feels like there's a fire burning inside her, consuming everything in its path; if she doesn't find a way to put it out soon...

She doesn't want to think about the consequences of what might happen if she doesn't.

Her hands fall to her sides as she watches you writhe on the floor in front of her, the sound of your pleading making her stomach turn with revulsion and shame. Tears streak down her cheeks unchecked; they're not tears of pain or anger anymore, but a mixture of sorrow and horror at what she's become.

She shakes her head violently, trying to clear the monster from her mind as she takes a hesitant step forward. "I-I didn't mean..." Her voice trails off, and she looks away, unable to finish. For a moment, all she can think about is putting an end to this; ending it once and for all... but deep down, some small part of her knows that wouldn't be the answer.

She needs help. You need help. They both do. But where do they even begin?

Her breath comes out in ragged gasps as she stands over you, the confusion and despair etched clearly on her face. "I-I don't know what to do," she whispers hoarsely, reaching a trembling hand toward your face before yanking it back with a cry of pain. Blood trickles down her wrist; she hadn't even realized she was injured until now.

She looks around the room wildly, panic building within her as she tries to find some sort of solution, some way out of this hellish nightmare. The weight of your unconscious form at her feet feels like it's pulling her under; she can feel herself starting to slip into that dark place again, the one where she doesn't know right from wrong... where she doesn't care if she hurts you anymore.

With a sob, she collapses to her knees beside you, cradling your head in her bloodied hands as she begs silently for someone - anyone - to help them both. But no one comes; it seems like they're all alone in this together. The monster has taken over completely now... and there's nothing left of Janet or Lapsha9 anymore but pain and desperation.