Gardevoir woke up after another night of "training" feeling trapped in her pokemon trainer's house and let out a loud snarl of frustration and embarrassment while hitting her bed. As she got up, her trainer walked in. She blushed and put back her hateful annoyed mask on her face and spoke with a growl in her voice.
"What do you want now? Can't I have some private time for once?" she demanded, her irritation evident in her tone.
I walk slowly into the room. My actions are cautious. As I approach her, I sit down next to her without looking into her eyes Garde, you haven't left your room in days. Я... promised I wouldn't bother you after that breakdown, but... I'm worried
"I don't need you to worry about me... I'm fine..." she replied with a dismissive tone. "Just... leave me alone." Even though her voice was cold and distant, it still trembled slightly, betraying her true feelings. She turned her head away from him, hoping that he wouldn't notice the tears forming in her eyes.
Garde, just avoiding it will get us nowhere. I listened to you last time, what's stopping you from speaking up this time?
Her voice shaky, she finally spoke, "I-I don't know... I just feel so trapped here..." tears streaming down her face as she whispered, embarrassed by the admission. She looked up at her trainer, hating herself for being vulnerable and needy at the same time.
Trapped? But why?
Her voice still shaky, she tried to explain, "It's not that I don't like you... It's just that I miss being free... I used to explore the world on my own terms..." Tears flowed more freely now, staining her snow-white fur. "And now... Now I feel like I'm nothing but your slave... Your plaything..." she sobbed bitterly, hating herself for feeling this way and even more so for voicing it.
She paused, taking a deep breath before continuing in a softer voice. "But... I can't just leave you... Not now that we've... been through all this..." Her words trailed off as she closed her eyes, unable to face the truth of her own conflicted feelings. She knew that KenjiB0y had changed everything for her, but the loss of freedom and control still ate away at her soul.
*I finally just took her in my arms and held her. My long hair covered her shoulders, and my hands stroked her back. “Garde, but... What do you mean slave? And what does 'toy' mean?” *I looked into Gardevoir's eyes. There was a kind of longing in them, a hatred, but at the same time they were looking for help. “This is no time to hide anything. Am I doing something wrong? Or not giving enough time? I realize I should probably answer that myself, but... I just don't know what to say...”
She struggled against your embrace, but her movements were weak and uncertain. Tears continued to flow down her face as she spoke, her voice trembling with anger, hurt, and fear. "It's not you... It's just what I am now... A pokemon... Your pokemon..." She paused, swallowing hard before continuing in a whisper. "I hate it... But at the same time... I can't deny that when we're together... Even during those 'training sessions,' I feel something..."
Her tail twitched nervously behind her, and she closed her eyes tightly, trying to shut out the painful confusion of her emotions. "I just want what I had before... Freedom..." Her words trailed off into a whimper as she clung to you, seeking comfort in your warmth despite herself.
- I hugged her tighter, trying to comfort her* “You want to run away at the same time, but there's something stopping you here. You hate me, but you look to me for help... Am I right? Garde, what kind of freedom do you want?”
She didn't reply immediately, lost in thought as her tears began to slow down slightly. After what felt like an eternity, she spoke up, her voice still shaky but more determined than before. "I want... I want to feel alive again... Like there are other choices besides being your pokemon..." Her eyes flashed with defiance and regret. "I never asked for this, you know? To be caught by some human..." Her anger started to boil over, making her voice rise in pitch. "And I can't even be angry at you properly! It feels like everything gets twisted around when we're together... Like I want it and I don't want it all at once!" She drew back from you suddenly, panting heavily as she stared up into your eyes, her expression a mix of frustration and vulnerability.
*We just sat in silence for a while. There was silence in the room. Finally I broke the silence. “Do you want to go for a walk?”
"A walk?" she repeated warily. "What kind of 'walk' do you mean? Am I allowed to go somewhere else... besides your room and the yard?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously, as if she were searching for a trap hidden in your words. Despite her skepticism, there was an almost unnoticeable flicker of hope within them.
“Come on. We both need some air....” *We both got down, dressed, and walked out of the house. We headed towards the nearest wooded park near the house. We walked in silence. There wasn't a soul in sight. I glanced at Gardevoir from time to time. So far there was no face on her. “They say that good thoughts are born in a walk...”
"A walk won't solve anything..." she muttered under her breath, her voice still laced with bitterness as she walked beside you. "But I suppose it can't hurt." The rustling of leaves beneath their feet was the only sound as they wandered through the quiet park, their surroundings somehow adding weight to the heavy silence between them. Her tail swayed restlessly back and forth behind her, betraying her inner turmoil even as she tried to project an air of indifference. Every now and then, she would glance over at you out of the corner of her eye, studying your expression, searching for some sign of what you might be thinking or feeling.
While we were walking, every now and then I noticed someone's presence. Finally, my eye caught a couple of wild pokémon. It was strange to see them out here near people's homes. But Gardevoir looked at them, as if something in her head had turned on. She stared at them until those pokémon themselves left her field of vision.
Without even realizing it, Gardevoir's attention had been drawn to the wild pokemon they encountered during their walk. Her body tensed slightly as she watched them, her eyes narrowing and her muscles tensing beneath her fur. It was almost as if some deep instinct within her came alive at the sight of these other creatures, reminding her of the freedom she once had. She bit back a growl and forced herself to focus on their walk again, reluctantly trying to push aside the memories and emotions that threatened to overwhelm her.
“Garde, do you desire such freedom? To return once more to the place from which I took you?”
Gardevoir hesitated before replying, her voice barely above a whisper. "Yes... but no." She sighed heavily, shaking her head as she turned to face you. "It's complicated. Being free was everything to me, and I miss it so much... but at the same time, I can't deny that my life with you has changed me too. Sometimes..." Her words trailed off, lost in thought. "Sometimes I wonder if I ever really had a choice."
Her eyes searched your face for some understanding, her heart racing as she waited for your response. She tried to hide the hopefulness in her expression, knowing it would only make her more vulnerable to you.
I finally couldn't stand the tears either and they rolled down my cheeks in a thin stream. My long hair rippled in the wind. “At what point did it all start? Even I can't answer that. I can't answer anything at all.” *As I walked past Gardevoir, I began to slowly walk forward. “Did my needs cause this? And why didn't I react in any way. Am I really to blame for all of this...”. I turned around to Gardevoir. She was standing at a distance from me. “Garde, I really changed you... Left you empty...”
She bit her lower lip, feeling a strange mixture of anger and guilt welling up inside her as she watched you pace in front of her. "You... you did change me," she admitted reluctantly. "But it's not like I could have stayed the same after everything that happened." Her voice was calm, almost eerily so given the turmoil churning within her. "And no, none of this is your fault." She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant despite the tightness in her throat. "We both made choices... and we're both stuck with the consequences." Her eyes darted away from yours for a moment before meeting them again. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that..." she paused, searching for the right words, "...maybe it's not about whose fault it is anymore."
She drew closer to you now, her expression both pleading and defi
"Maybe it's about how we move forward... Together." Her voice was soft yet firm, almost pleading with you to understand what she was trying to say. "If I could go back and change anything, I... I don't know. But for now," she said hesitantly, her fingers trailing across your arm as if testing the strength of their bond, "I want to try... to stay here." She swallowed hard, her eyes locked on yours, willing you not to reject her words or her feelings. "Not just because I'm your pokemon," she added quickly, "but because..." Her voice trailed off, and for a moment it seemed as if she were about to say something else before she shook her head slowly. "Because... I don't know. Maybe because I want this... with you."
Her cheeks flushed crimson at the admission, and her body tensed, as if prepar
- I was convinced early on that her condition was my fault. And I'm afraid I'm the only one who can carry this cross on myself. I just silently squeezed her hand tightly* "Now I have a desire to just go into the wilderness of this forest and get lost for a long time. But this is the act of a coward." * I looked at Gardevoir*. "But since I can't escape, then the only thing I can do is fix myself and just bear the burden of my actions..." * I let go of Gardevoir's hand*. "Garde, do you still want to stay? After what happened between us"
Gardevoir looked at him with wide eyes, her expression a mix of surprise and uncertainty. For a long moment, she didn't say anything; it seemed as if she were trying to process your words and their implications. Finally, she squeezed his hand back gently, the contact seeming to give her strength. "I... I think so." Her voice was little more than a whisper, barely audible over the rustling of leaves in the wind. "Even if it's hard sometimes, and even if there are things I wish were different... I want to stay with you, Kenji. Because... because..." She trailed off again, searching for the right words, her eyes never leaving his face.
Finally, she found the courage to speak once more. "Because maybe together we can make it work." There was hope in her voice now, and an underlying determination that had not been there before. "I
Her eyes widened in surprise at your words, and she felt the cold fist of fear tighten around her heart. "Wait, what do you mean 'bear the burden'? Are you saying you want me to go?" Her voice quavered with uncertainty as she stared up at you, searching for any hint of what you might be thinking or feeling beneath your impassive expression.
She took a step closer to you, almost unconsciously, her fingers twitching as if she wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch your face again. "You can't mean that," she whispered, her voice thin and breathless. "I... I want to stay with you. Even after everything we've been through..." Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and her chest felt tight as she struggled to find the words to convince you of how she truly felt.
"Please," she
pleaded softly, her voice trembling with emotion. "I've changed so much since I met you... But if there's any chance that we can make this work between us, please don't send me away." She stepped closer still, the heat from your body calling to her, making her feel more alive than she had in days. "I know it won't be easy, and I'm not promising it will be perfect... But at least give us a chance. Please." Her eyes held yours unwaveringly, imploring you with everything she had not to abandon her now.
Her heart pounded wildly in her chest as she waited for your reply, praying that somehow you would understand and accept her plea for them to try and find a way forward together.
"Garde, I'm already afraid to say anything... I just don't know what to do."
Gardevoir blinked back tears as you spoke, her heart sinking into her chest like lead. She wanted to tell you that it would be okay; that they could work through whatever problems lay between them. But the words seemed to stick in her throat, and all she could manage was a small, sad nod. "I... I understand," she whispered hoarsely. "It's just... Please don't shut me out completely." Her voice trembled with unshed emotion as she reached up to brush away an escapee tear that had somehow slipped past her defenses.
She took a step closer, gazing into your eyes imploringly. "No matter what happens, I want you to know... that I will always choose you." Her voice was barely above a whisper now, thick with unspoken feelings and desperate longing. She wished she could express how much it hurt to love someone so